From high on a scaffold, sweaty and loaded with tools, it is easy to look down with envy on the boss rolling onsite in his clean pickup and dress slacks. He carries his clipboard and a set of plans, points his fingers a lot and makes a few calls on his cell phone. He is full of encouragement, and sometimes disapproval, and perhaps a suggestion about bracing that really makes no sense at all. Soon he is off again, not to be seen until Friday afternoon. Up that high, it looks pretty easy to own your own business.
For me, the decisive moment struck at a quiet intersection waiting for a school bus to unload. I had no kids on the bus, not even kids of my own that age. The sun burned the Vermont leaves golden on that Friday afternoon. Winter was fast approaching. I saw those kids skip and dance toward their homes, and suddenly I was sure it was right to let my business go.
That sun was going down too fast. The bank deposit needed to be made within the hour, and I still had to get my check from the client not answering his phone. The crew had learned long ago to meet me at the parking lot so they could turn their checks to cash for their weeks’ hard work. If those kids didn’t move faster, I might not be able to make all the pieces come together.
I had contracts lined up for the coming winter, but 30 years experience had taught me they could easily melt to nothing. With 2 or 3 crews of guys living hand-to-mouth, the Holidays for me were less about time with my own family and more about surviving the cost of paid days off, year-end bonuses, and a party to celebrate all the good work accomplished in the past year. Workers comp was going up, good labor going down. I was often awake in the middle of the night, or sitting at such an intersection, with my heart beating too fast and my head spinning with too many questions and not enough answers.
After countless conversations in lumber store parking lots, I know there are some, but not very many, who are able to run a construction company as well and profitably as the professional magazines imply. With focused attention, a healthy bank account, a truckload of determination mixed with humility, and a commitment to leave the client’s home “broom clean” each and every day, one can be successful.
But for most of us who jump off that scaffold and go to work for ourselves, we learn the business is as full of minefields as opportunities. Like fingers in the dike, we’re meeting the next client while the last witnesses the crew sneaking away an hour early, the lumber company gets the check this week while the IRS (I know all resources stress not to do it) gets postponed until next. The snowball gets rolling and it becomes all too easy to be crushed under the weight.
As I moved past that school bus on that late Friday afternoon, my own heart settled into a rhythm that brought happiness and health back into perspective. By the next spring, I was still holding a clipboard, but my shirt bore the logo of someone else’s name. I could play cards or watch a movie with my own kids at night. And tho I still have to figure out how to pay some back, I’ve begun to get some sleep.
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